when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
