ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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