apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
