I wish I could punch you in the face.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
