Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
