i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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