She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize