Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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