the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
