just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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