Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
