Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You've changed since you got that strap on
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
