ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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