She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
