everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
