i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize