so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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