i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize