I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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