So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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