I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
