i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
