just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
