I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
