I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I've blown a few things in my day
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
