I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
