I wish you could order shots online.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
