Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
