just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
