We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
