I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
