Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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