i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
