My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
