Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize