I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
