the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
