dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
