arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
