plz talk dirty to me
I faked an abortion last night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
