only you would photoshop your dick
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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