He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
