the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
