we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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