My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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