I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
