so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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