I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
