That's intense
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
