problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize