He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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