perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
