now i know why i became what i already was.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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