My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dignity is for republicans.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
