I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
