You can't special order awesome
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
