i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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