so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
