her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
