every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
