She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
