why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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