6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
