It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
